how to lose 9 dollars

By Colin Hartnett

For years, manly men have been subjected to movies like “Sleepless in Seattle,” “Titanic” and “Maid in Manhattan” in the name of appeasing the sensitivities of the stereotypical female, and by “appeasing,” I mean taking a few more steps down the path to her pants. Despite the variations in plot, these movies are all cut from the same cloth: desperation disguised as cockiness, derision, sexual tension, longing underscored by some cheesy romantic rock song, and, of course, the chase culminating in the most passionate kiss ever recorded on film.

“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, director Donald Petrie’s (“Miss Congeniality”) latest effort, is just another in the long line of sappy, formulaic, fat-free chick flicks that rely on nothing but cheap emotional tricks and ultra-polished beauty.

Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson), despite her fame as Composure (see the Cosmo in there, Captain Observant?) magazine’s “how-to girl,” is disappointed with her lot in life and wants to write about more meaningful things than shoes and boyfriends. To save her recently dumped and depressed colleague from the ennui of shopping at Payless – and in the process break free of editorial reins – she agrees to the movie’s first plot point. She’ll find a man, attempt to drive him away in only the most stereotypically girly ways, and write about it.

That man is Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey), a basketball-obsessed ad agency exec looking to take on more expensive rocks by pitching his ideas to the world’s largest diamond distributor. Two supermodel-types (Shalom Harlow, the Chanel Coco girl, and Michael Michele, the hot doctor from “ER”) working in Barry’s agency are also vying for the account, and they bet him that he can’t make a girl of their choosing fall in love with him in ten days. You can guess the one they choose.

The ensuing battle of the sexes scores laughs with the accuracy of a shooing gallery. There are genuinely humorous moments, like when Andie gives Ben’s Johnson a feminine name. But this second act should have been much more than the string of petty movie clichés that made the final cut. Fart jokes? Come on. Generally, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is most successful when it strays from the formula.

Sadly, the climax feels like it was plucked from the popular “Idiot’s Guide to Writing a Romantic Comedy.” It is out-of-place and hurried, and as a result we never see Ben as anything more than a player trying to hold onto a girl to win a bet. If he had already tasted the fruits of his labor, so to speak, he probably would’ve just kicked back in front of the TV with a stogie and a Bud and let Andie fly to Washington to live out her Miss America–esque fantasies.

“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” manages to mildly amuse, but ultimately it is no better than the countless other faceless romantic comedies that have preceded it. If you’re looking to see a good movie, avoid this one. If you’ve got some designs on what might happen after (or during) the movie, it’s definitely tolerable.

colin hartnett ’04 just wrote his first movie review for post-. does this meet your approval?